He went away

He went away. She says he never grew up, but he's much older than me. I still have a blanket. I have a red blanket; a red blanket with a pattern made to keep all the monsters away. He said it was made out of lots of love; that each stitch of the pattern was made just for me. It was warm, and soft, and kept me safe and tucked in tight. But it got old. I ruined it. It got ruined. I sucked the corners when I was alone and scared, and all the die would come out in my mouth, and turn my lips bright red as it got paler, and paler; so now it's all pale, pointy and sharp; the corners itch and scratch, and leave little red lines all over me. When I got angry I'd stamp on it; I'd stamp it in dust and in dirt and in muddy puddles; It got all hard and faded, and the stains will never wash out. Now you can't trace the pattern, it's all blurry and hard to see. The angrier I was the harder it got, and the lonelier I got the sharper it was, until it was just a hard and sharp thing; it's not my blanket anymore, it's not all soft and warm; it's just a something that slows me down wherever I take it; it makes me trip when I try to run, so I hit the floor and get all caught up in it; its heavy to carry now, when I'm under it, it feels dark and close, it gets hard to breathe, I might choke. I wish I had a new one; I wish I had one that was still soft and warm, that didn't remind me of when I was angry, or scared, or lonely; But I still have it, the old one, I still hide under it; pull it tight so no one can see me when I don't want to be seen, and to keep out the cold and the lonely's. Mummy says it'll only get sharper and harder now, that I love it too much; so too much love must be a bad thing. Maybe it was made from too much love; maybe it is a bad thing. She says I'll have to grow out of it, or never grow up. But I need it, or a new one; one that's still soft and warm. I need it because he went away. She says he never grew up, but he's much older than me. I still have a blanket, and I think he does too, but I think I'll throw mine away.